GIVING:

Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge. Many of
us got caught up in compulsive giving – charitable acts
motivated by uncharitable feelings of guilt, shame, obligation,
pity, and moral superiority.

Many of us gave too much, thinking we were doing things
right; then we became confused because our life and
relationships weren't working. Many of us gave so much for
so long, thinking we were doing God's will; then in recovery,
we refused to give, care, or love for a time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But healthy giving is
part of healthy living. The goal in recovery is balance
– caring that is motivated by a true desire to give, with an
underlying attitude of respect for ourselves and others.

The goal in recovery is to choose what we want to give to
whom, when, and how much. The goal in recovery is to
give, and not feel victimized by our giving.

Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or do they
prevent others from facing their true responsibilities?

Are we giving so that people will like us or feel obligated to
us? Are we giving to prove we're worthy? Or are we giving
because we want to give and it feels right?

Recovery includes a cycle of giving and receiving. It keeps
healthy energy flowing among us, our Higher Power, and
others. It takes time to learn how to give in healthy ways. It
takes time to learn to receive. Be patient. Balance will come.

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