WE ARE LOVABLE:

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could
anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this is
a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-
fulfilling prophecy.

Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our
relationships with co-workers, friends, family
members, and other loved ones. This belief can
cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that
are less than we deserve because we don't
believe we deserve better. We may become
desperate and cling as if a particular person was
our last chance at love. We may become
defensive and push people away. We may
withdraw or constantly overreact.

While growing up, many of us did not receive
the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us
were abandoned or neglected by important
people in our life. We may have concluded that
the reason we weren't loved was because we
were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an
understandable reaction, but an inappropriate
one. If others couldn't love us, or love us in ways
that worked, that's not our fault. In recovery,
we're learning to separate ourselves from the
behavior of others. And we're learning to take
responsibility for our healing regardless of the
people around us.

Just as we may have believed that we're
unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing
the belief that we are lovable. This new belief
will improve the quality of our relationships. It
will improve our most important relationship:
our relationship with our self. We will be able
to let others love us and become open to the
love and friendship we deserve.

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