SADNESS:

In the past, we told ourselves many things to
deny the pain: It doesn't hurt that much …
Maybe if I just wait, things will change … It's
no big deal. I can get through this … Maybe if
I try to change the other person, I won't have
to change myself.

We denied that it hurt because we didn't want
to feel the pain.

Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps
repeating itself, until it gets our attention, until we
feel it, deal with it, and heal. That's one lesson
we are learning in recovery from codependency
and adult children issues.

Many of us didn't have the tools, support, or
safety we needed to acknowledge and accept
pain in our past. It's okay. We're safe now.
Slowly, carefully, we can begin to open ourselves
up to our feelings. We can begin the process of
feeling what we have denied so long – not to
blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in
preparation for a better life.

It's okay to cry when we need to cry and feel
the sadness many of us have stored within for so
long. We can feel and release these feelings.

Grief is a cleansing process. It's an acceptance
process. It moves us from our past, into today,
and into a better future – a future free of
sabotaging behaviors, a future that holds more
options than our past.

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