Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery)
Some thoughts about recovery. * Take what you like and leave the rest.
Monday, September 03, 2012
SHAME:
Shame is a trademark of dysfunctional families.
Legitimate shame is the feeling or thought that
what we did is not okay. It indicates that our
behavior needs to be altered, or we should make
an amend.
Shame is an overwhelming sense that who we
are isn't okay. We can change our behaviors, but
we can't change who we are. Shame can propel
us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes
self-destructive behaviors.
We may feel ashamed when we have a problem
or someone we love has a problem. We may
feel ashamed for making mistakes or for
succeeding. We may feel ashamed when we
have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to
show ourselves to others.
Learning to reject shame can change the quality
of our life. It's okay to be who we are. Our
feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It's okay to
have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to
find our path. It's okay to be human.
Accepting ourselves as we are is the first step
toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who
we are is also an important step.
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