THOSE NOT IN RECOVERY:

We can go forward with our life and recoveries,
even though someone we love is not yet
recovering.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is
cold and dark. We stood there with others in the
cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some
of us developed an eating disorder to cope with
the pain. Some drank; some used other drugs.
Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior.
Some of us obsessively focused on addicted
people's pain to distract us from our own pain.
Many of us did both: we developed an addictive
behavior, and distracted ourselves by focusing
on other addicted people. We did not know
there was a bridge.

Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened.
We saw the bridge. People told us what was on
the other side: warmth, light, and healing from
our pain. We could barely glimpse or imagine
this, but we decided to start the trek across the
bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on
the cliff that there was a bridge to a better
place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see
it; they couldn't believe. They were not ready for
the journey. We decided to go alone, because
we believed, and because people on the other
side were cheering us onward. The closer we
got to the other side, the more we could see,
and feel, that what we had been promised was
real. There was light, warmth, healing, and love.
The other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between us and those
on the other side. Sometimes, we may be
tempted to go back and drag them over with us,
but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged
or forced across this bridge. Each person must
go at his or her own choice, when the time is
right. Some will come; some will stay on the
other side. The choice is not ours.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if
we have already crossed and are standing in
the light and warmth, we do not have to feel
guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do
not have to go back to the dark cliff because
another's time has not yet come.

The best thing we can do is stay in the light,
because it reassures others that there is a better
place. And if others ever do decide to cross
the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.

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