THE UNMANAGEABLE SIDE:

By the time we get to the Fourth of the Twelve
Steps, we are ready to face our unmanageable
side, the side that prevents us from loving
ourselves and others, from letting others love
us, and from enjoying life. One of the purposes
of Step Four is not to make ourselves feel
worse; our purpose is to start to remove our
blocks to joy and love. We also can't forget to
search for our positive traits as well.

We look for fears, anger, hurt, and shame from
past events – buried feelings that may be
affecting our life today. We search for
subconscious beliefs about ourselves and others
that may be interfering with the quality of our
relationships. These beliefs say: I'm not lovable
… I'm a burden to those around me … People
can't be trusted … I can't be trusted … I don't
deserve to be happy and successful … Life
isn't worth living. We look at our behaviors
and patterns with an eye toward discerning the
self-defeating ones. With love and compassion
for ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt
– earned and unearned – and expose it to the
light.

We can perform this examination without fear
of what we shall find, because this
soul-searching can cleanse us and help us feel
better about ourselves than we ever dreamt
possible.

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