WORK:

Just as we have relationship histories, most of us
have work histories.

Just as we develop a healthy attitude toward our
relationship history – one that will help us learn
and move forward – we can develop a healthy
attitude toward our work history.

I have worked at jobs I hated but was
temporarily dependent on. I have gotten stuck in
jobs because I was afraid to strike out on my
own and find my next set of circumstances.

I have been in some jobs to develop skills.
Sometimes, I didn't know I was developing
those skills until later when they became an
important part of the career of my choice.

I have worked at jobs where I have felt
victimized, where I felt like I gave and gave and
received nothing in return. I have been in
relationships where I manufactured similar
feelings.

I have worked at some jobs that have taught me
what I absolutely didn't want; others sparked in
me an idea of what I really did want and deserve
in my career.

Some of my jobs have helped me develop
character; others have helped me fine-tune skills.
They have all been a place to practice recovery
behaviors.

Just as I have needed to clear the wreckage of
feelings about past relationships, I have needed
to finish my business with jobs and careers.

I have learned something from each job, and my
work history has helped create who I am.

I learned something else: there was a Plan, and I
was being led. The more I trusted my instincts,
what I wanted, and what felt right, the more I felt
that I was being led.

The more I refused to lose my soul to a job and
worked at it because I wanted to and not for the
paycheck, the less victimized I felt by any career,
even those jobs that paid a meager salary. The
more I set goals and took responsibility for
achieving the career I wanted, the more I could
decide whether a particular job fit into that
scheme of things. I could understand why I was
working at a particular job and how that was
going to benefit me.

There are times I have panicked at work an
about where I was in my employment history.
Panic never helped. Trust and working my
program did.

There were times I looked around and
wondered why I was where I was. There were
times people thought I should be someplace
different. But when I looked into myself and at
God, I knew I was in the right place, for the
moment.

There were times I didn't get the promotion I
wanted. There were times I refused a promotion
because it didn't feel right.

There  are times I have to quit a job and walk
away in order to be true to myself. Sometimes,
that was frightening. Sometimes, I felt like a
failure. But I learned this: If I was working my  
program and true to myself, I never had to fear
where I was being led.

I've learned that I'm not stuck or trapped in a
job no more than I am in a relationship. I have
choices. I may not be able to see them clearly
right now, but I do have choices. I've learned
that if I really want to take care of myself in a
particular way on a job, I will do that. And if I
really want to be victimized by a job, I will allow
that to happen too.

Above all else, I've learned to accept and trust
my present circumstances at work. That does not
mean to submit; it does not mean to forego
boundaries. It means to trust, accept, then take
care of myself the best I'm able to on any given
day.

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