NOT WILLPOWER:

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are
seeking. Surrender is.

"I have spent years trying to make emotionally
unavailable people be emotionally present for me,"
said one recovering person.

What I'm saying is this: I've spent much of my life
desperately and vainly trying to do the impossible
and feeling like a failure when I couldn't . It's been
like planting corn and trying to make the seeds
grow peas. Won't work!

"By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the
presence of mind to stop wasting my time and
energy trying to change and control that which I
cannot change and control. It gives me permission
to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on
what is possible: being who I am, loving myself,
feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do
with my life."

In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply
because we cannot win. We also learn that the
more we are focused on controlling and changing
others, the more unmanageable our life becomes.
The more we focus on living our own life, the more
we have a life to live, and the more manageable our
life will become.

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