FINANCE:

I had been so strong, so brave, so trusting
for so long. I was a single parent with two
children, recently divorced. I had worked
so courageously at being grateful for what
I had, while setting financial goals and
working at believing I deserved the best.

I had put up with so much poverty, so
much deprivation. Daily, I worked the

Eleventh Step. I worked so hard at
praying for knowledge of God's will for
me only, and the power to carry it through.
I was doing my best, working my hardest.

And there just wasn't enough money. Life
had been a struggle in many ways, but the
financial struggle seemed endless.

Money isn't everything, but it takes money
to solve certain problems. I was sick of
"letting go" and "letting go" and "letting go.
" I was sick of "acting as if" I had enough
money. I was tired of having to work so
hard daily at letting go of the pain and fear
about not having enough. I was tired of

working so hard at being happy without
having enough. Actually, most of the time I
was happy. I had found my soul in poverty.
But now that I had my soul and my self, I
wanted some money too.

While I sat in the car trying to compose
myself, I heard God speak to me in that
silent, still voice that whispers gently to
our souls.

"You don't ever have to worry about
money again, child. Not unless you want to.
I told you that I would take care of you.
And I will."

Great, I thought. Thanks a lot. I believe you.
I trust you. But look around. I have no
money. I have no food. You've let me down.

Again I heard His voice in my soul: "You
don't have to worry about money again. You
don't have to be afraid. I promised to meet
all your needs."

I went home, called a friend, and asked to
borrow some money. I hated borrowing, but
I had no choice. My breakdown in the car
was a release, but it didn't solve a thing –
that day. There was no check in the mailbox.

But I got food for the day. And the next day.
And the next. Within six months, my income
doubled. Within nine months, it tripled. Since
that day, I have had hard times, but I have
never had to go without – not for more than a
moment in time.

Now, I have enough. Sometimes I still worry
about money because that seems to be
habitual. But now I know I don't have to, and
I know I never did.

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