LOVE:

Many of us have worked too hard to make
relationships work; sometimes those
relationships didn't have a chance because
the other person was unavailable or

refused to participate.

To compensate for the other person's
unavailability, we worked too hard. This
may mask the situation for a while, but we
usually get tired. Then, when we stop doing
all the work, we notice there is no
relationship.

Doing all the work in a relationship is not
loving, giving, or caring. It is
self-defeating and relationship-defeating.
It creates the illusion of a relationship
when in fact there may be no relationship.
It enables the other person to be
irresponsible for his or her share.

In our best relationships, we all have
temporary periods where one person

participates more than the other. This is
normal. But as a permanent way of

participating in relationships, it leaves us
feeling tired, worn out, needy, and angry.

We can learn to participate a reasonable
amount, then let the relationship find it's
own life. Are we doing all the initiating?

We can let go. If the relationship is meant
to be, it will be. We do not help that
process by trying to control it.

Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying
about making it happen.

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