GIVING:

Learning to be a healthy giver can be
a challenge. Many of us got caught
up in compulsive giving – charitable
acts motivated by uncharitable
feelings of guilt, shame, obligation,
pity, and moral superiority.

Many of us gave too much, thinking
we were doing things right; then we
became confused because our life
and relationships weren't working.
Many of us gave so much for so
long, thinking we were doing God's
will; then in recovery, we refused to
give, care, or love for a time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest.
But healthy giving is part of healthy

living. The goal in recovery is balance
– caring that is motivated by a true
desire to give, with an underlying
attitude of respect for ourselves and

others.

The goal in recovery is to choose what
we want to give to whom, when, and
how much. The goal in recovery is to
give, and not feel victimized by our
giving.

Are the ways we try to assist people
helpful, or do they prevent others
from facing their true responsibilities?

Are we giving so that people will like
us or feel obligated to us? Are we
giving to prove we're worthy? Or are
we giving because we want to give
and it feels right?

Recovery includes a cycle of giving
and receiving. It keeps healthy energy

flowing among us, our Higher Power,
and others. It takes time to learn how
to give in healthy ways. It takes time
to learn to receive. Be patient.
Balance will come.

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