WE ARE LOVABLE:

Do you ever find yourself thinking:
How could anyone possibly love me?
For many of us, this is a deeply
ingrained belief that can become a
self-fulfilling prophecy.

Thinking we are unlovable can
sabotage our relationships with
co-workers, friends, family members,
and other loved ones. This belief can
cause us to choose, or stay in,
relationships that are less than we
deserve because we don't believe we
deserve better. We may become
desperate and cling as if a particular
person was our last chance at love.
We may become defensive and push
people away. We may withdraw or
constantly overreact.

While growing up, many of us did not
receive the unconditional love we

deserved. Many of us were abandoned
or neglected by important people in our

life. We may have concluded that the
reason we weren't loved was because
we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves
is an understandable reaction, but an

inappropriate one. If others couldn't
love us, or love us in ways that worked,

that's not our fault. In recovery, we're
learning to separate ourselves from the
behavior of others. And we're learning
to take responsibility for our healing
regardless of the people around us.

Just as we may have believed that we're
unlovable, we can become skilled at

practicing the belief that we are lovable.
This new belief will improve the quality
of our relationships. It will improve our
most important relationship: our
relationship with our self. We will be
able to let others love us and become
open to the love and friendship we
deserve.

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