SADNESS:

In the past, we told ourselves many
things to deny the pain: It doesn't hurt

that much … Maybe if I just wait,
things will change … It's no big deal.
I can get through this … Maybe if I try
to change the other person, I won't
have to change myself.

We denied that it hurt because we
didn't want to feel the pain.

Unfinished business doesn't go away.
It keeps repeating itself, until it gets

our attention, until we feel it, deal with
it, and heal. That's one lesson we are
learning in recovery from codependency
and adult children issues.

Many of us didn't have the tools,
support, or safety we needed to
acknowledge and accept pain in our
past. It's okay. We're safe now. Slowly,
carefully, we can begin to open
ourselves up to our feelings. We can
begin the process of feeling what we
have denied so long – not to blame,
not to shame, but to heal ourselves in
preparation for a better life.

It's okay to cry when we need to cry
and feel the sadness many of us have

stored within for so long. We can feel
and release these feelings.

Grief is a cleansing process. It's an
acceptance process. It moves us from
our past, into today, and into a better
future – a future free of sabotaging

behaviors, a future that holds more
options than our past.

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