WE ARE LOVABLE:

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How
could anyone possibly love me? For
many of us, this is a deeply ingrained
belief that can become a self-fulfilling
prophecy.

Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage
our relationships with co-workers, friends,
family members, and other loved ones.
This belief can cause us to choose, or stay
in, relationships that are less than we
deserve because we don't believe we
deserve better. We may become desperate
and cling as if a particular person was our
last chance at love. We may become
defensive and push people away. We may
withdraw or constantly overreact.

While growing up, many of us did not
receive the unconditional love we
deserved. Many of us were abandoned or
neglected by important people in our life.
We may have concluded that the reason
we weren't loved was because we were
unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an
understandable reaction, but an

inappropriate one. If others couldn't love
us, or love us in ways that worked, that's
not our fault. In recovery, we're learning
to separate ourselves from the behavior
of others. And we're learning to take
responsibility for our healing regardless
of the people around us.

Just as we may have believed that we're
unlovable, we can become skilled at

practicing the belief that we are lovable.
This new belief will improve the quality
of our relationships. It will improve our
most important relationship: our
relationship with our self. We will be
able to let others love us and become
open to the love and friendship we
deserve.

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