WE ARE LOVABLE:

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone
possibly love me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained
belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships
with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved
ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in,
relationships that are less than we deserve because we don't
believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and
cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love.
We may become defensive and push people away. We may
withdraw or constantly overreact.

While growing up, many of us did not receive the
unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were
abandoned or neglected by important people in our life.
We may have concluded that the reason we weren't loved
was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an
understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others
couldn't love us, or love us in ways that worked, that's not
our fault. In recovery, we're learning to separate ourselves
from the behavior of others. And we're learning to take
responsibility for our healing regardless of the people
around us.

Just as we may have believed that we're unlovable, we can
become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable.
This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships.
It will improve our most important relationship: our
relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love
us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve.

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