Saturday, December 19, 2015

THOSE NOT IN RECOVERY:


We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even
though someone we love is not yet recovering.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold
and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and
darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed
an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank;
some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our
sexual behavior. Some of us obsessively focused on
addicted people's pain to distract us from our own
pain. Many of us did both: we developed an addictive
behavior, and distracted ourselves by focusing on
other addicted people. We did not know there was a
bridge.

Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened. We
saw the bridge. People told us what was on the other
side: warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We
could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided
to start the trek across the bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff
that there was a bridge to a better place, but they
wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they couldn't
believe. They were not ready for the journey. We
decided to go alone, because we believed, and
because people on the other side were cheering us
onward. The closer we got to the other side, the more
we could see, and feel, that what we had been
promised was real. There was light, warmth, healing,
and love. The other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between us and those on
the other side. Sometimes, we may be tempted to go
back and drag them over with us, but it cannot be
done. No one can be dragged or forced across this
bridge. Each person must go at his or her own
choice, when the time is right. Some will come;
some will stay on the other side. The choice is not
ours.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we
have already crossed and are standing in the light
and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where
we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to
the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.

The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because
it reassures others that there is a better place. And if
others ever do decide to cross the bridge, we will be
there to cheer them on.

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Semi-Retired