Some thoughts about recovery. * Take what you like and leave the rest.
Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work;sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance because theother person was unavailable or refused to participate.
To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we worked toohard. This may mask the situation for a while, but we usually gettired. Then, when we stop doing all the work, we notice there is norelationship.
Doing all the work in a relationship is not loving, giving, or caring.It is self-defeating and relationship-defeating. It creates theillusion of a relationship when in fact there may be no relationship.It enables the other person to be irresponsible for his or her share.
In our best relationships, we all have temporary periods whereone person participates more than the other. This is normal. But asa permanent way of participating in relationships, it leaves usfeeling tired, worn out, needy, and angry.
We can learn to participate a reasonable amount, then let therelationship find it's own life. Are we doing all the initiating?
We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be. We donot help that process by trying to control it.
Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about making it happen.
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