Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery)
Some thoughts about recovery. * Take what you like and leave the rest.
Thursday, June 07, 2012
DETACHMENT:
One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us. We
put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped. For the
next six months, the animal ran frightened and wild through
the house. So did we – chasing it.
"There it is. Get it!" we'd scream, each time someone spotted
the gerbil. I, or my son, would throw down whatever we
were working on, race across the house, and lunge at the
animal hoping to catch it.
I worried about it, even when we didn't see it. "This isn't
right," I'd think. "I can't have a gerbil running loose in the
house. We've got to catch it. We've got to do something."
A small animal, the size of a mouse had the entire household
in a tizzy.
One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched the
animal scurry across the hallway. In a frenzy, I started to
lunge at it, as I usually did, then I stopped myself.
No, I said. I'm all done. If that animal wants to live in the
nooks and crannies of this house, I'm going to let it. I'm
done worrying about it. I'm done chasing it. It's an irregular
circumstance, but that's just the way it's going to have to be.
I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I felt slightly
uncomfortable with my new reaction – not reacting – but I
stuck to it anyway.
I got more comfortable with my new reaction – not reacting.
Before long, I became downright peaceful with the situation.
I had stopped fighting the gerbil. One afternoon, only weeks
after I started practicing my new attitude, the gerbil ran by
me, as it had so many times, and I barely glanced at it. The
animal stopped in its tracks, turned around, and looked at me.
I started to lunge at it. It started to run away. I relaxed.
"Fine," I said. "Do what you want." And I meant it.
One hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and waited.
I gently picked it up and placed it in its cage, where it has
lived happily ever since. The moral of the story? Don't lunge
at the gerbil. He's already frightened, and chasing him just
scares him more and makes us crazy.
Detachment works.
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