ENABLERS:

A people-pleaser - they tend to be displeasing.
Being around someone who is turned inside
out to please another is often irritating.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may have
adapted to survive in our family. We may not

have been able to get the love and attention we
wanted. We may not have been given
permission to please ourselves, to trust
ourselves, and to choose a course of action
that demonstrated self-caring.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We
may run around fussing over others, chattering
a mile-a-minute when what we are really saying
is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be
more covert, quietly going through life making

important decisions based on pleasing others.

Taking other people's stuff into consideration is
an important part of our relationships. We have
responsibilities to friends and family and
employers. We have a strong inner responsibility
to be loving and caring. But, people-pleasing
backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with
us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to
please do not work as we planned. The most
comfortable people to be around are those who
are considerate of others but ultimately please
themselves.

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