PROVING IT TO OURSELVES:

Trying to prove how good we are,
trying to prove we're good enough,
trying to show someone how much he
or she has hurt us, trying to show
someone we're understanding, are
warning signs that we may be into our
self-defeating behaviors.

They can be a warning that we've
allowed ourselves to get hooked into
a dysfunctional system. They may
indicate that we're stuck in that
cloudy fog of denial or doing
something that is not good for us.

Trying excessively to make a point
with another may mean that we have
not yet made that point with
ourselves. Once we make that point
with ourselves, once we understand,
we will know what to do.

The issue is not about others
understanding and taking us
seriously. The issue is not about
others believing we're good and good
enough. The issue is not about others
seeing and believing how responsible
or loving or competent we are. The
issue is not about whether others
realize how deeply we are feeling a

particular feeling. We are the ones
that need to see the light.

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