ENABLERS:

A people-pleaser - they tend to be
displeasing. Being around someone
who is turned inside out to please
another is often irritating.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may
have adapted to survive in our family.
We may not have been able to get the
love and attention we wanted. We may
not have been given permission to
please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and
to choose a course of action that
demonstrated self-caring.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert.
We may run around fussing over others,

chattering a mile-a-minute when what
we are really saying is, "I hope I'm

pleasing you." Or, we may be more
covert, quietly going through life
making important decisions based on
pleasing others.

Taking other people's stuff into
consideration is an important part of
our relationships. We have
responsibilities to friends and family
and employers. We have a strong inner
responsibility to be loving and caring.
But, people-pleasing backfires. Not
only do others get annoyed with us, we
often get annoyed when our efforts to
please do not work as we planned. The
most comfortable people to be around
are those who are considerate of others
but ultimately please themselves.

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