CONFLICTS:

Problems and conflicts are part of life and
relationships – with friends, family, loved ones,
and at work.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems
in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of
anger and victimization, terminated relationships,

unresolved problems, and power plays that
intensify the problem and waste time and energy.

Some problems with people cannot be worked
out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the
problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is
not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to
clearly understand what we want and need and
what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be
worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily
negotiated.

To negotiate problems, we must be willing to
identify the problem, let go of blame and shame,
and focus on possible creative solutions.

We need to learn to identify what both people
really want and need and the different
possibilities for working it out. We can learn to
be flexible without being to flexible. Committed,
intimate relationships mean two people are
learning to work together through their problems
and conflicts in ways that work in both people's
best interest.

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